When little, many of us fantasize about growing up and getting married. Granted, we don't understand, but most newlyweds probably don't fully understand, either. Experiences often differ greatly from imagination. Yet even from our smallest, we have some basic ideas about love, romance, and the way things should work.

During our teenage years we grow intellectually and reconsider our foolish childhood views, but, more importantly, recommit to the values we truly cherish. Of course, staying true to your beliefs is very difficult when you're unsure precisely what you believe, and teenage years are notorious for confusion. But no one can make these decisions for you. Others can help, but you must challenge your own ways of thinking. You must discover how you really feel so you can feel that way. You'll make mistakes, sure, but only working towards what you truly believe will make you happy.

In life, transition periods are marked by big changes. From childhood to the teenage years, sexuality is one of the "big changes." Unfortunately, society divides us with two opposing messages: "just say no" from our schools and churches, and "just say yes" from our friends, television, and magazines.

Who do you trust? Churches have our best interests at heart, but religious institutions can feel outdated. They didn't have birth control then; we have condoms now. Besides, there are plenty of sexual activities besides intercourse, and the religious stance has never been very clear on them.

Magazines and television make sex look really good. Special effects make movies look really good. But do things really happen that way?

Sexual intercourse implies childbirth, and the possibility of pregnancy requires responsibility and maturity well beyond what most teenagers are capable. Yet sexual activity is not limited to sex; masturbation, petting, and oral sex are all forms of sexual expression.

Masturbation

The majority of men, and many women, masturbate. Scientifically masturbation has no ill effects; it is a positive way to relieve stress and explore sexuality. Learning about your body alone better prepares you for sexual relationships with others, and masturbating can help pass time while you're waiting for the right person. Definitely masturbation is physically and emotionally safer than interpersonal sexual encounters. If you have personal or religious objections, by all means, follow your convictions, but know there is nothing medically wrong with the proposition.

Masturbation excepted, all sexual activity involves other people. The dilemma: which people? What's just fun, and how far is too far?

Kissing

Kissing-- specifically, making out-- has been the accepted hallmark of the teenage generation for some time. Most people don't have a problem with it; why should they? The "big deal" in kissing is being with someone you care for, not risks, but avoid the temptation of cheap thrills. Kisses should be special; making out because it feels good often doesn't feel so good later. "Needing" someone to satisfy you is an illusion caused by poor self-esteem. Secure your own heart before seeking another's. Sharing precious moments with someone you've grown to love is one of the joys of life; making out with a person you met six hours ago is just sleazy.