All Faith is Gone
I have just gotten out of a relationship a month ago. I was in the relationship for more than 2 years. He was my best friend before as well and he knew everything about me and all my insecurities and paranoia. When I got together with him after my first ex, it was easy because I was already comfortable with him. Anyway, he excepted a lot of the baggage that my family and I came with. 3 weeks after we celebrated our 2 year anniversary, he broke up with me. He said he had been feeling it for weeks, but I never knew it. I went to visit him and he never let on. He said we were too different and that we didn't belong together anymore and that it was the right thing to do. I could understand it, but he was saying he wanted to be with me and that he loved me earlier that day. We talked about our future and jobs and moving to be together, so I planned my life with him. He could never give me good enough reasons and he just feels like we have a strong connection to each other but it would be better as friends. Before him I had no faith in guys and because of a past relationship, I have a hard time moving on and finding new people because I have never been able to trust a guy, therefore I get very sketched out when meeting new ones. I thought that within a month he might realize that we were perfect for each other. Even his family members reached out to me to try to help and make things better. Nobody thought this would ever happen, but he says he is happy. I just found out that he is seeing his ex again and it has only been a month. He dated his ex 4 years ago and when they broke up, that was it there was never any communication. No all of a sudden they see each other and are talking a lot. he says that it isn't anything yet, but it is way too ironic and I know him and he is definitely a great guy and I totally think they will be together again. I am just so hurt and crush that I do not know how to move on and believe that there is someone else for me. He was and is the one for me, but now I try to tell myself that the reason why he isn't the one, is because im not the one for him. I just graduated and live at home and I am trying to find a job. I have huge loans to pay off and I have no ties from high school or college. SO I can safely say I only have my immediate family and nothing else. More than anything I want love and to settle down with a family, but I can't believe it will happen to me. Every single one of my ex's has moved on from me in less than a month and they are all still with the person. I just don't understand how in 3 weeks my ex that is the only one I actually loved and wanted to be with forever, could all of a sudden say we don't belong together. I don't know how to move on especially because i feel like i have nothing to live for. I want to know why such a good guy (my ex) could do this to me and now start hanging out with his ex. I know they will get back together. I just want the memories and pain to go away and to believe that one day I will find the love of my life. It's too hard to right now, but i need to know that everything will be okay. I also need to know how to handle what my ex did to me. He had lied to me and told me everything was fine. I gave him opportunities to tell the truth and he never did. I just feel like i will never be good enough. Please help me!!! It is just so unlike me ex to do this much to hurt me.
Never give up hope
I know where you are coming from. I was with a guy for four years, we lived together - in a way, but things were difficult. We talked about getting married and I really thought we were going to get married. But life has a way of throwing a wrench into things and we broke up. It was incredibly sudden.
I know how you hurt. I'm in the same situation. No job, no friends, you're cut off from the world and it seems much much bigger. It's scary and you think you'll never get married, or that if you do, maybe you won't love your husband as much as your ex because he was 'the one'.
All your plans were with him, take him out of the picture and things fall apart.
My advice will not be helpful, it is most likely you've been already given this advice, but, here are some suggestions:
Take up a hobby. Any hobby. Do what ever it was that you once had an inkling for - no matter how small it was. And it doesn't have to be something like knitting. Martial arts, sports, scuba diving, dancing...big scary things can lead you to discover a new side of you.
Write your feelings down. Write a story, or a poem, or just notes.
The best thing for me is to keep moving. Don't let him keep you from doing the things you want or need to do.
Do you have a plant or a fish? Sometimes caring for something will help (you can also talk to them and they won't tell anyone else your secrets) :)
As for guys, there are guys out there. They're just hard to find. Don't give up. Think of it this way - You're capable of a great love. You loved someone a lot, and you hurt a lot - that's not a bad thing. If you didn't, there would be something wrong.
This guy hurt you. He may have felt like the one, but he isn't. The next guy can only be better. You don't have to jump in though. A guy who would care for you will understand your hurt and work with you to heal your pains. Just hang in there. You are woman, just hear yourself Roar!
I really hope this helps. Or at least, it's some what comforting. Know that you are not alone! And remember to talk to people who would listen to you, sometimes it's good to be able to talk about your pain with some one else.