teen love could turn into marriage?
Jude,
I'm 17 and my boyfriend's 18. We've been dating for about a year and a half, and I'm positive it's love. It has been for a while. We don't have sex, so I know it's not just because of that but he means absolutely everything to me, and I couldn't imagine him ever being less. I'm not changing my dreams about my future for him, but he's now another dream I have for my future. I know high school sweethearts rarely work out, but it does happen. My parents are always talking about how they never work. And then this guy I was talking to who's 26 has been dating his girlfriend about the same amount of time, and he's like "It's totally different! You're 17, you think you know everything!" blah blah.. "You don't know what love is"
But i beg to differ.
Everyone says highschool relationships are stupid.
But could we be an exception?
Could I really end up marrying this guy?
I am almost 26 and am still
I am almost 26 and am still with my high school sweetheart (we started dating at 16). We are (surprisingly) not married or engaged or living together at this point. However, with him I just KNOW it is right. I haven't ever felt the need to rush things. My advice to you now (as I look back) is not to think you're ready to get married now at 17 or 18. I pressured my guy a bit too much when we were younger and he rebelled a bit. Just be understanding and find and keep your own groups of friends too. Try to keep up with your own hobbies and avoid living with him or clinging to him if possible. You'll know he's the one if you can both have separate lives (to some extent) and still love & support each other.
Just be prepared that 90% of guys will go through a wild side. i.e. getting drunk and partying with other girls (especially if you go to different colleges). If you can be honest with each other and define "cheating" early on, you'll avoid many misunderstandings.
A lot of things to think about before marriage
I probably should introduce myself. I'm 25 and I'm an actress and writer - so love and romance are things that I think about often and I've had my fair share of relationships in high school and in college.
Of course in life anything is possible. High school love isn't necessarily stupid. And it is possible that you two might make it and marry each other. However, I also think it is too early to tell. You may love a person very much and think he is the one, but consider a few things. Do you know what he's like as a life long partner? What's it like to live together and have jobs? Do you both have the same life goals?
These are some questions that you should ask yourself before getting married. You'll both be graduating soon. Have you thought of college? College can change many things. Maybe your career choices will be so different, you won't be able to be together. Or maybe, you find that suddenly you both don't agree about anything any more.
Marriage is nice to think about. But thinking and planning are very different.
My advice is to wait. Don't think too seriously about it yet and instead just enjoy being young and free.
Talk to him too...
Have you talked to your boyfriend about your ideas/plans/hopes/dreams? If he shares your dreams, then by all means, go to the next level by getting engaged. If he doesn't, it might simply be because it is too soon
Having been happily married for 8 years now, my husband and I were high school sweethearts who did work out. At first the biggest hurdle you are going to have is the enormous chorus of well meaning friends and family who all repeat those classic lines, "You are too young" and "Enjoy your freedom before you settle down".
It's amazing the amount of freedom we had after we got married, in fact having someone there by my side to share in the fun only makes the good times even sweeter. What everyone doesn't tell you is that the loss of freedom comes not from being married, but from having children.
In short: if he's ready for it too, I say go for it, just hold off for a couple of years on having kids so you have time to savor the love.