What does he want?
SO basically, I've known this guy since i was five years old... we dated a long time ago but we were young so it didn't mean much.. so this year we started hooking up a few times.. but he's had a history with this older girl who basically leads him on for her own flattery.. because she doesn't like him at all but she doesn't want him with anyone else.. SO he and i were hooking up.. and she some how managed to talk his way out of being interested in me.. one night he told me that he wanted to be more commited into having a "thing" but not necessarily dating because that would be a little soon.. so that night we had hooked up and this older girl asked him if we had and he simply LIED about it.. then the following night he got one of his frineds to text me that he doesn't like me anymore and that i'm wasting my time.. so we stopped talking which was drastic because we've been best friends since we were five.. then a few weeks later we talked in person and ended up making up and were on the same page as waht we were.. having a "thing" well four days later he started hooking up with one of my good friends.. which eventually just ruined me and my friend talking and him and i talking.. so after months of basically grieving over them being together.. he and i made up.. and eventually started hooking up again which has brought me here.. last night he said that he wants to continue hooking up, doesn't want to go out and look for someone to hook up with but if it happens it happens.. and he doesn't want either of us to be upset if the other hooks up with someone else because he can't hurt me.. he'd feel too horrible because he cares about me/enjoys talking to me more than anyone else so us hooking up is just a 'bonus' to us" so basically, he wants to keep hooking up with me, be able to have the ability to hook up with someone else without me getting mad.. BUT previously he's said that he doesn't like when i talk to other guys, hates specific guys i hang out with, gets mad when other guys text me etc. SO what the heck does this boy want?
Well to me this guy cant
Well to me this guy cant have his cake and eat it. I say just leave him alone or just be friends. He also seems like a jerk sometimes he says he wants nothing to do with you then you guys make up and start hooking up again and again. To me if your still going to talk to him then just leave it as hooking up and have no feelings toward him which might be difficult in ways so basically i would just be friends aand leave it as just that!!!
Unfortunately, I think he's
Unfortunately, I think he's told you what he wants. He wants you to stay exclusive for him-- although he won't date you-- but he wants to be free to hook up with other girls. It's a classic double standard.
Tell this boy that he's going to have to learn that it's the same rules for both people. He can't have it both ways, and you are not going to take shit from him.
Don't worry too much about what he wants. He certainly seems selfish enough that he'll do what he wants regardless of how you feel. The question is- what do you want? Do you want him? If so, in what way? Once you decide that, you can start moving forward.
Cheers,
Jude